Wednesday, May 22, 2013

20 Ways to Survive a Scandal-Free Summer

Do you wonder how you’ll make it through Thursday nights this summer without SCANDAL? Wonder no more! The Official Gladiator Guide to a SCANDAL-Free Summer is here! Below are 20 tips for maintaining your sanity and Gladiator edge while Olivia Pope & Co. sharpen their daggers for season 3.

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1. Read every post on this blog every day until SCANDAL returns. Share it with all your friends and family. They’ll love you forever.

2. Write your own fan fiction. You can call it Scandal Unplugged, This Isn’t Shonda’s Scandal, or Olivia’s World. I won’t even charge you for that. You’re welcome. 

3. Stalk Shonda Rhimes on Twitter @shondarhimes until she agrees to write a summer version of SCANDAL. It could be called The Olivia Diaries.

I'm pretty sure that's what Shonda would want you to do.

4. Hug a Huck every day.

Look deeply into his eyes. He needs you.

5. Dress up as a different character every day and recite their most memorable lines. See who notices.

6. Quit your day job. Lock yourself in a room with SCANDAL DVDs for 4 months to make the time go faster.

7. Hibernate until September. The surgeon general recommends 7-8 hours of sleep per night for adults. This would cover you for at least 308 nights. Imagine how much more efficient you’d be every day!

8. Run up to a complete stranger and yell “It’s handled!” Walk away doing the Olivia Pope runway strut.

Ask Amanda Tanner how that worked out for her.
9. Show up at the actors’ press dates and hound them for a picture together. Then, make a Gladiator calendar and sell it on Amazon for $29.99.

10. Learn a foreign language. Watch all 29 SCANDAL episodes in your chosen language. J’etudie français. Il est manipulé! 

11. Barge into your boss’s office unannounced and demand he or she promote you to Head Gladiator in Charge (HGIC). They’ll appreciate your initiative. Trust me. It worked for me. Now my co-workers stop me in the hallway and on the elevator to discuss all things SCANDAL and other important, non-work related cases.

It worked for Harrison, too.

12. Travel to other countries. Lock yourself in your hotel room and watch episodes of SCANDAL. Try to do this on every continent, including Antarctica.

13. Move to DC and become a SCANDAL tour guide. Highlights would include the OPA offices at 19th & K streets NW, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Metro station where Olivia found Huck.

14. Make a video reenacting your favorite scenes. Submit it to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Watch the money and adoration roll in.

15. Host a weekly SCANDAL support group in your local community. Apparently, several have started holding sessions already. Call your local 411 hotline for locations and times.

Don't be tardy for the party!
Image from the interwebs.
16. Prank call random politicians using your best Olivia Pope voice. Tell them they’ll need your services soon. Hang up. Wait for a callback.

17. Let your hair grow out, post up at a public transit hub, and mutter “7:52” under your breath until a fixer rescues you.

18. Get some. If you find yourself asking “get some what?” pay special attention to this point.

Yes, some of that.

19. Organize a Gladiator flash mob at your local Target. Post it on YouTube. The first person who does this will receive seasons 1 and 2 on DVD courtesy of My Scandal Obsession. 

20. Relax. Relate. Release. We survived the break between seasons 1 and 2. This too shall pass.

The Pope never stays away too long.

10 comments:

  1. Gladiator Triple LMay 22, 2013 at 11:04 PM

    Hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. 11, 13 & 15 are the best. Very funny and creative list. I'm trying
    to decide which one I'm gonna try!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can handle the wait! Patience is my virtue...

    ReplyDelete
  4. 7:52, 7:52, 7:52,7:52, 7:52, 7:52, 7:52, 7:52, 7:52, 7:52, 7:52, 7:52........................................

    ReplyDelete